Happiness is no mystery...It shouldn't be.

I should be really happy right now because things that weren't going so well before are finally getting better...

But I'm NOT!..I feel nervous, mad, fustrated, scared and confused too.

I can't CONCENTRATE!...I can't concentrate on things that should be my priorities. I can't concentrate because of this thing called "feelings," that have taken a strong hold of my thoughts and concentration. I wish I could relieve myself of these feelings.

But I CAN'T!..I am now a prisoner of my own emotions; or maybe I have always been I just never realized it until now that I'm willing to admit it. I wish I could shout out how I truly feel but there's always something holding me back...Maybe it's the fear of standing against or even hurting the people I love. I thought I could learn to control these feelings (it seemed to have been working for some time) but it's only getting harder now, now that these "feelings" or emotions are starting to resurface once again.

Stupid feelings...Stupid emotions...Stupid of me for being so weak to them. But I just can't help it...

I just can't...FUCK! but one thing is for sure: It is wrong and unhealthy for me to fear and avoid them because they are brilliant...they are pure. *sigh